The Struggle Is Part Of The Story

Writing this post somehow hits home more so than all my others, maybe because it is more personal and really exposes a side of myself that not alot of people want to have exposed. I have only been single for about 4 months now after a short relationship before that and many more before that one. Call it what you will, "serial dater," "she can't be alone," and I cant even think of all the other possibilities but what I find is that through all my horrible dating experiences, although they have been very rough at times, I am able to share with others out there that I truly believe it happens to the best of us and pushes us to not lose the love for yourself. As a society, we women dream of the fairy tale prince, the one that will sweep us off our feet, the guy that shows up to our work with flowers or surprises us on our doorstep in the rain holding a sign reading "To me you are perfect." To us, our Mr. Darcy could be the man we walk by in the grocery store, an old classmate we never connected with, or even the boy next door.

I am 25 and I have had the blessing (yes, it has truly been a blessing) to have endured more heartbreak and loss than most. The countless tear spells, the sunken pit in the stomach feeling after a breakup, the loss of someone I gave a piece of my heart to. I work with a group of women that most don't and won't ever have the blessing of having, a support system that together could probably write the best book telling our stories of the men of our past, the present and the hopeful ones of our future. And although I may be single, uninvolved and alone for the time being, I know that I grow in this time more so than any other time, growing alone, bettering myself for the person that will come along when the time is right. It hurts at times, finding out the guy is talking to another girl, saying he will call than doesn't, going on your facebook and finding out the guy you were seeing all of sudden has acquired a girlfriend in the 12 hours you weren't talking (yes, this has happened.) Those guys exist more so than not, but one thing I have realized in the most recent of times is that meeting a good man can happen. The ones that make you laugh to put a smile on your face, call you just to check in on you and make sure your day is going alright, or are there to take your mind off of a bad day at any hour.

Through everything I have gone through, I have realized now more than ever that IT IS OK to be alone, to experience life for yourself before adding in a male counterpart, loving yourself in a way that you can only hope someone will do for you at some point in time. The idea of what a woman today finds to be a perfect man has become distorted, not realizing what real romance truly is. We are scared to be alone when really to be honest we sometimes can be more fabulous on your own.

All there really is to say is, " If your feeling frightened about what comes next, don't be. Embrace the uncertainty. Fall in love with yourself, inside and out. Allow it to lead you places. Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path toward happiness; don't waste time with regret. Spin wildly into your next action. Fall in love every chance you get. Enjoy the present, each moment, as it comes, because you'll never get another one quite like it. And if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. Retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart . . . where your hope for the good lives. You'll find your way again. And always remember the struggle is part of the story."

Xoxo

Jessica Leigh