This weekend has taught me alot of things. Through tragedy, it has taught me to always speak my mind and my feelings, for you never know when you won't be able to any longer. Through loss, as hard as it may be in the moment, my heart and mind will overcome with my good old companion named time. I won't always understand why God works in mysterious ways. Why he brings some people into our lives and then takes them away. But what I do know, and what I have learned at my ripe old age of 26 is to always be thankful for my time with them, for each person has inflicted something on me that will sit within me for the rest of my life. I may cry, I may laugh and I may struggle but I will always come back from it. Every.Single.Time. I guess my point here is, I'd rather people know that everyone falls apart, even if we don't show it, talk about or express it. We all have our struggles, our heartbreaks, our ride that just never stops. In the words of Meredith Grey, " the carousel never stops turning."
The Rollercoaster Ride
Life never ceases to amaze me. The twists, the turns, ups and downs. I never seem to be able to keep up. Just when you think events are leveling out, the good will overcome the bad, life smacks you across the face and drops you right back down to where you started.
I never was the easy child. The youngest of three, I always challenged myself and everyone else for that matter with my personality, my creativity and most of all, my faith. I've never been one to openly discuss my religion, my beliefs or frankly anything that I stand for but I guess this is what happens in your mid twenties. You open your eyes, let more light in and really see things for what they are sometimes. Shit. Complete and utter shit. I've realized that in life, you have no control. Despite everything you do, things change, time keeps moving, people come and go but the ride just keeps going. It never stops. It never lets you come up for air, catch your breath and regain your strength. It screams at you to hold on and just keep going. Keep going? Seriously? But sometimes I just want to fall down and give up. But I can't. Because the ride doesn't ever stop.Ever.
My whole life is made up of memories with friends, family, things. All of which at one point or another will be gone in time. I've sat and thought, why am I Here? Why do I exist in this world? I've talked to God in more ways then one, begging for him to answer these questions. But what I've realized, with no response yet, is that I am simply in charge of my own existence. My own life. My own destiny. If I'm unhappy, do something that will make me happy. Change my own fate. Take an instance, a moment and turn it around for the better. The only one that will do it is me.
I used to be so scared of what everyone thought about what I had to say. What I believed in. I would forget to just speak my mind if my feelings were hurt, if someone made me feel amazing and most of all when I met people that made me thankful for the gift of life. I forgot to speak what I wanted, what I needed in my heart, in my mind and most of all in this life. You read it in books, women finding themselves through tragedy like Cheryl Strayed in Wild, through divorce like Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat ,Pray,Love or through loneliness like Katie Heaney in Never Have I Ever. The thing is, there are so many roads to the sanctuary of happiness.
This weekend has taught me alot of things. Through tragedy, it has taught me to always speak my mind and my feelings, for you never know when you won't be able to any longer. Through loss, as hard as it may be in the moment, my heart and mind will overcome with my good old companion named time. I won't always understand why God works in mysterious ways. Why he brings some people into our lives and then takes them away. But what I do know, and what I have learned at my ripe old age of 26 is to always be thankful for my time with them, for each person has inflicted something on me that will sit within me for the rest of my life. I may cry, I may laugh and I may struggle but I will always come back from it. Every.Single.Time. I guess my point here is, I'd rather people know that everyone falls apart, even if we don't show it, talk about or express it. We all have our struggles, our heartbreaks, our ride that just never stops. In the words of Meredith Grey, " the carousel never stops turning."
This weekend has taught me alot of things. Through tragedy, it has taught me to always speak my mind and my feelings, for you never know when you won't be able to any longer. Through loss, as hard as it may be in the moment, my heart and mind will overcome with my good old companion named time. I won't always understand why God works in mysterious ways. Why he brings some people into our lives and then takes them away. But what I do know, and what I have learned at my ripe old age of 26 is to always be thankful for my time with them, for each person has inflicted something on me that will sit within me for the rest of my life. I may cry, I may laugh and I may struggle but I will always come back from it. Every.Single.Time. I guess my point here is, I'd rather people know that everyone falls apart, even if we don't show it, talk about or express it. We all have our struggles, our heartbreaks, our ride that just never stops. In the words of Meredith Grey, " the carousel never stops turning."
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